Wired / Tired / Expired, March 2014 edition

[Up, floating almost free at La Défense]

So, here’s the March edition of my Wired / Tired / Expired jargon watch overviews:

UX Viral versus A/B Lean / Customer Excellence
Current front runner in the Sell theme: User eXperience, that’s what it’s all about. User-centric, user-enjoyment, user-will pay. Desperately trying to be hip and failing, or just giving up and using the old hand methods. Fire all that appear to not add to the customer’s sale, then find out only all the deadwood remained. Unethical idiot.
Caring about people Caring about the Olympics Caring about sports on TV
Whoever, wherever, whenever. Just one-to-one, bottom-up John Doe to John Doe help. Helping out. Because they’re over, again when you read this. Aaaand … they’re forgotten. Ermmm, “TV” anyone? You mean vids on mobile? Why watch others sweat?
Classics Hybrids
The business bunch
Take these:
See previous Wired/Tired/Expired. Too bad the GT cabrio, Quattroporte or if all else fails, the new Ghibli aren’t in this class. Mercedes: Sorry, your tail lights are übergay. Volvo (V70 in particular): Ah, builders (qua finesse and estetics) and lumberjacks (qua ethics) pretending to be toffs but falling through by their road (mis)behaviour. Audi: Civil servants of the calcified kind, or salesmen of secondhand wire coat hangers; believing they’re invulnerable in their ‘tanks’ (quod non) because aeons ago their brand made Quattros. BMW: small-time corner drug dealers; ugly rims. VW: Phaeton is OK, as you demonstrate to not care what other people think, the very right way (à la Feynmann). Too bad the GT Coupé’s backside looks like a Frisian thouroughbred.
DIY Apple vs Samsung Mac vs PC
Build your own browser. As in: The many variants of Open Source, or BigCorp’s versions on various platforms.
Or even hipsterer: Build your own device.
The definition of Tired. Still lingering in the background(s) but I don’t want to hear of it. Really? Mac won, and isn’t relevant on the desktop, that isn’t relevant anymore, and the PC’s still around and alive (see The End of XP).
Crypto-systems Phone data trawling et al. Infra/SCADA security
Not only Bitcoin and online voting but also, moreover, DACs. Now that Edward S. is also a threat to Anon, apparently, he might as well get his pardon for realz. Turned out it was just backlog work; still not done, though, by far not enough. Risks remain but aren’t newsworthy.
Really good new bands Bands you love to hate Just in Bleeper
Just for the in-crowd, still. But you wish them the success. E.g., this one. You know you still love them, secretly. Why is Nickleback on that list in the first place …!? Good riddance.
Blogs Tweets White papers
You’re reading this. Blogs have made a triumphant come-back from all the way back in 2003, 2004 or so when they first arrived, then disappeared after only a few got really famous. Now, they’re the medium of choice for all sorts of op-eds, ‘columns’, curated opinions, etc. Still valid currency to pass news and sound bite opinions; not for any serious pertinent information. Haven’t seen too much of these, as they had turned into marketing materials; two-pager flyer-like.
May linger in the background, in the original form of not-refereed-to-death ‘scientific’ articles – and as such, valuable, also for the record of summarising pop-scientific progress as published in allsorts blogs. If for this, should be in the W column…

OK, any suggestions for next month’s edition ..?

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