It starts with Taoism. But I recognize bureaucracy, software development and economics. In:
| Taoism | Sh.t happens |
| Confucianism | Confucius say: “Sh.t happens” |
| Buddism | If sh.t happens, it is not really sh.t |
| Zen | What is the sound of sh.t happening? |
| Hinduism | This sh.t has happened before |
| Islam | If sh.t happens, it is the will of Allah |
| Protestantism | Let the sh.t happen somewhere else |
| Catholicism | If sh.t happens, you deserve it |
| Judaism | Why does sh.t always happen to us? |
| Mysticism | Just experience sh.t happening |
| Ascetisim | If sh.t happens, renounce it |
| Agnosticism | Nobody knows why sh.t happens |
| Gnosticism | I know why sh.t happens but will not tell you |
| Atheism | Sh.t happens and that is all there is to it |
| Cathesianism | Sh.t happened to me, therefore it exists |
| Platonism | There is ideal sh.t happening somewhere |
| Stoicism | I do not care if sh.t happens |
| Epicureanism | Let us party while sh.t does not happen |
| Cynism | Of course sh.t happens |
| Occultism | Sh.t materializes from other planets of existence |
| Terrorism | Sh.t will happen unless you do as I say |
| Puritanism | S… can happen all day as long as you do not call it that |
| Behaviourism | You are conditioned to having sh.t happen |
| Freudianism | If sh.t happens, it is your mother’s fault |
| Parapsychology | Sh.t happens without material causes |
| Surrealism | Purple sh.t happens near melting clocks |
| Cubism | If sh.t happens, you will not recognise it |
| Optimism | If sh.t happens, we will find a way to use it |
| Pessimism | If sh.t happens, there will not be enough for everybody |
| Tabloid sensationalism | Green sh.t from Mars happens to Elvis clone |
| Biblical creationism | Sh.t happens because God created it |
| Scientific obscurantism | Sh.t happens because it evolved from primitive sh.t |
| Bureaucracy | I do not care if sh.t happens as long as you fill out the forms |
| Feminism | Women demand to have sh.t happen |
| Ecology | If organic sh.t happens, it is OK |
| Capitalism | Let us profit from sh.t happening |
| Socialism | If sh.t happens, let us distribute it evenly |
| Patriotism | Our sh.t is better than your sh.t |
| Conservatism | They don’t make sh.t happen like they used to |
| Liberalism | Sh.t should not happen tomorrow |
| Classical physics | Sh.t does not “happen”, it just moves around |
| Quantum physics | Sh.t happens but you can not say both where and when Sh.t happens in discrete quanta called shitons |
| Holistic physics | If sh.t happens, it happens everywhere at once |
| Software development | If sh.t happens, we will fix it in the next version |
| Applied mathematics | The probability of sh.t happening approaches unity |
| Engineering | When sh.t happens, paint over |
| Medicine | If sh.t happens, take two aspirin and call me in the morning |
| Economics | Sh.t happens because there is a great demand for it |
| Politics | If sh.t happens, make a deal with it |
| Diplomacy | Let us pretend sh.t does not happen |
| To which I can already add: | |
| Accountancy | However bad, sh.t can be left hidden from sight as long as you can ‘prove’ to not have seen the pile of it that you’re drowning in |
If you would have any to add, please do …
